a deep desire to build but nothing to build
Lately I've been feeling this deep deep desire to build something, anything. It can be with my hands, it can be with software, it can be with hardware, it can be with wood, steel. I really don't care. I think I just want to create something from nothing. The process is what I enjoy the most.
The odd thing as well is I never really had too much of an interest to actually use what I built. When I was younger I'd build with legos like crazy. But after I built the thing, that was it. It started with the intended lego build, following the how-to book, and then I'd tear it apart and build something from my imagination. And the best part was the building. I didn't play or use these things.
It also happened with toys - I'd get "complex" things like remote controlled cars, play with them for about ten minutes and then I'd grab a screwdriver. I'd take it apart, see how it worked, change the batteries to bigger batteries to see what happened.
Now I'm an adult and I still have this desire to build something, anything, but lately, I have found nothing to direct that desire towards. So I fiddle with things that don't need fiddling (sometimes causing problems for myself), I concoct plans to build something that I don't necessarily need, I take tutorials to learn new skills with no project in mind. It's a lot of thrashing with no clear goal in mind and it's somewhat maddening.
I suppose I need inspiration of some kind, or to latch onto someone else's inspiration and help build, but I really don't know where to start.
I guess I'll simply continue to explore and pay attention to what grabs my attention, in search of that peak experience feeling that I miss so dearly.